that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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