Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just made my gag reflex go away.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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