I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
