You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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