we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
