Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
