I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
