My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
