We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize