I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
