If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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