Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
