38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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