I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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