how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
