I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
