wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Is it because I queefed?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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