wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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