Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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