Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize