I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
