Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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