it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
