He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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