Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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