ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
