we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
