is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
