Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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