I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Found your dick twin last night
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
