my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
