Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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