remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
