1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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