This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
