went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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