I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
