i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
do herpes really smell.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
