remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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