apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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