i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
