my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
