I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
