this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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