We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
