Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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