Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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