i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
