So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
