wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
