so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
