Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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