would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
