As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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