Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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