Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize