If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
