eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
last night I used snow as a chaser
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
