i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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