I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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