Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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