We're like a lot better than the average bears
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
