Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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