The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize