I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
