She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
