perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
