Your mouth is God's brothel.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
