Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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