3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just google imaged poop.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
