I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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