Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
