We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
