My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
